“I know you, I created you. Or is it the other way around? I always forget. We’re so similar.– Slappy to Stine, Goosebumps movie, 2015
Have you seen the movie, Goosebumps? It’s a favourite in our house, largely due to the vocal talents of Jack Black. In the movie the unhinged ventriloquist doll, Slappy, is in alter ego of the nasty kind. So, I want to share with you here, that Slappy is the voice I give to my inner critic or to my negative self-talk to turn things into a far more positive outcome.
When you are dealing with your inner critic/negative self-talk, giving it a silly/loud/or, erm, maniacal voice (in the case of my Slappy), can help you to quieten it. That is a simple technique (more simple techniques to knock your inner critic can be found on the 15 Minute Habit Course). 😍👈
Use an Alter Ego – just like an Olympian would
“Slappy’s not happy!.– Slappy, Goosebumps
Another technique is to get yourself an ALTER EGO. I would, obviously, not recommend Slappy for this vacancy. But, whatever floats your banana!
Leading Olympian performance coach, Todd Herman, has helped elite athletes to achieve their goals by utilising the ALTER EGO technique. His book asks this primary question, when you are faced with a huge challenge, who needs to show up?
Were you ever Wonderwoman?
Remember when you were a kid, who did you pretend to be? Were you Wonderwoman? Were you a lifesaver? What got your imagination buzzing, and crackling with possibility? Do you recall how it felt pretty real then, that your ability/power was tangible? You could almost touch it.
You could step into your Wonderwoman pants (and have her hair… just me?!).
As Todd suggests adulthood strips out our childhood beliefs, instead we are full of our fears, emotional baggage, imposter syndrome, weighed down by conformity, and what others will think of us. Cue that negative self-talk into overdrive!
Much of our inner voice can be harnessed for good (if you let it), instead of supporting that INNER CRITIC.
Perhaps your alter ego is no longer Wonderwoman from your childhood. Maybe it needs an identity that makes sense to the you now. Personally, I channel my inner Suzie Myerson, from The Marvelous Mrs Maisel series, whenever I need that tough, sweary resilience she has by the bucketload.
But, while you are cultivating your alter ego, there is also an almost limitless amount of research on the positive results from talking in the third person…
Distanced Self-Talk: Talking in the Third Person
Do you ever use your powers as an Illeist? In other words, do you ever refer to yourself in the third person? This is also known as distanced self-talk, which is a great way to turn negative self-talk around. Using “you” or calling yourself by your name is worth practising. As research has shown it can have amazing effects on willpower and getting through stressful times.
Look! Salvador Dali is born.– Dali on the subject of his birth.
Becoming your own Inner Cheerleader
The use of positive self-talk is discussed in this brilliant article about the mindset of Ultramarathoner, and pain cave master, Courtney Dauwalter. If you want to know how successful it makes her in achieving her goals, just have a look at her records.
In the article the work of self-talk expert, Ethan Kross, is also described. He delves into the conversations we have with ourselves, and how to control our conscious mind. He observed some astonishing results in studies, using distanced self-talk to prepare for meeting someone for the first time, giving speeches, and so on. Kross’s book “Chatter” explores this on a far deeper level;
“However it manifests itself, when the inner voice runs amok and chatter takes the mental microphone, our mind not only torments but paralyses us. It can also lead us to do things that sabotage us.”
Translating this, if you talk to yourself as if to someone else, your language is less likely to trigger emotional responses. Thus, you are more able to persevere with logical thoughts.
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. – William Shakespeare
Lewis Kallow writes, “Many more brilliant studies have found similarly beneficial results for all manner of endurance challenges”. He suggests that “Distanced self talk can help us view future stressors as challenges rather than threats, leading to a more adaptive cardiovascular stress response. “
To summarise: becoming your Self-Talk Superwoman
From using in affirmations to prepping for big runs, distanced self-talk, alter ego, and telling off your inner critic, are all powerful tools. If used in a state of mindfulness it can really give you an objective view of yourself.
It’s all about creating a mental separation between yourself and those pesky obstacles that come your way. Picture yourself stepping back, observing the situation like Dali. No more getting swallowed up by the moment.
Ward off the negative self-talk crew: Distanced self-talk is where you create a mental buffer between yourself and those challenging situations you face. It’s all about taking a step back and seeing things from a fresh perspective.
This is thought provoking stuff that Jo can really get behind. See what Jo did there 🙂
